decisions

Handed in... N they r trying to retain me..
everyone talked and im tired...
ask me to think it over a few days...
haiz....
Stressed..

resign....

Well it's time to tender...
Guess i'll head to work early and hand in...
Actually want to give today but firstly...
I lazy..
2ndly my printer no ink..
haiz its so irritating... Ink finish don't know how to buy...
gng to buy later..

Yesterday went out wif mi brother n sister..
shop shop..
Bought abang pressie...
He's such a kaypo.. eveything must know..
hope it likes it though..

Today gng to meet indhu..
going church then go to buy stuff i need to get today..
Already wrapped his pressie..

this sat i shall gv it to him..
so that he can use it on his bday..
Sat we gng to club...
yea yeah....
yeah yeah....

sun we went for jci retreat.. mcm club..
haha... hung out at starbucks n luff and tok rubbish...
Well though im scared of whats going to happen next..
I'll face it...

Go anita... I'm sure u can do this...
Cuz i'm a survivor..

A change

I suck at comp but well... i managed to change mi template finally...
Finally its not hay wire..

Yeay!!! Now im going to bed..
Gd nite!!

run run run

Running running as fast as i can...
Do u think i"ll make it..
Keep running
Keep holding my hand..
So we don't >> get seperated...

Hahaha...
well well.. went for my 2nd day run with asmah on thurs before my work...
Better than my first time...
I ran fer 1.5km then cant run had to walk n run alteranately...
well i will keep practising..

wanna lose weight..

today i went to meet indhu at bkt batok n chill...
Abang came over n we had dinner n chit chat
then we went indhu's hse for awhile.. chit chat with her mum
then took bus n got home..

i bought lipstick today!!!
pink n a nude colour.. very shimmery..
i olways wear gloss n not lipstick...
well time to learn to wear lipstiack too

i'm so sleepy...

tmrw im going to try n get up n run..
though dunnoe if can...
so sleepy... i rather sleep hehe
well i will try..
hahha

ward sux today..
damn tired..
Fed up wif doctors and patients...

well watever... Life still RoX!!!

After Run...

Yeay!!! Running...
I went for a run...
K not really a run...
hahahha
1km i run non stop..
after that is ol history..
hehehehe..
well i walk n run...
im trying k..
Thanks to my darling asmah who Brought me to run..
I love you k!!

im not a runner ler..
After the run i msg abng n he kol me...
haha the last time i said i was going fer a run, my mum n bf made fun of me..
so this time run fininsh then tell him hhehe..
Still can tell me wan to train me n make me run 12km..
i will pengsan ... 12km...

then he ask me out fer dinner..
Yeay can't wait to see my pannikutty..
Lup u many many sho many..

Oh well...
Yesterday...


I got a call...
A call from someone i didnt expect..
Someone i was very angry and caused me alot of heartache..
well i was damn shocked he called...
I didnt really know what to say or think..
Just answering whatever he asked..
Seriuosly my mind was racing..
i didn't know why i didn't yell in all the anger i had..
But i didn't yell..
To me i just wanted to know what he wanted or why he suddenly called..
And no he was Not any of my EX guy.. Someone Who i knew and hurt me alot..

Him: So you're attached right
Me: yes i am
Him: Hows Your Relationship?
Me: Great. I'm Happy.
Him: Good. Im happy for you
Me: Thanks.
Him: You're Welcome.

Then the conversation went on about what he's doing and what i'm doin..
then he said : I'm Very Sorry for Whatever i Did to You. I know i hurt you and i regret my mistake.. I have been feeling very guilty bout' it..Ya.. I'm sorry..

When i heard this i really don't know what to say..
I didn't say i forgive him cuz i can't..
I didn't say it's okie cuz it was not..
I was very hurt by him..
I just kept quiet..
what do i say??
Better to say Nothing..
Cuz I can't forgive nor Forget...

Then i did ask if he was attached.
And he said he still single..
He did try But can't really find a proper girl..

Then He said When He met a nice person he didn't appreciate it..
he met alot of others who well didn't turn out all nice..
eventually he said what goes around, comes around...
I just smiled to myself..
Ya it was true..
What goes around comes around..
I guess he learnt his lesson over the year i told him not to call me..

yup its been a year since he talked to me..
I pretty much put it behind me and i don't talk much about it to anyone except aneeta..
Well so the first person i told to was her.. She was shocked..
But well in the end we believe he learned his lesson and he actually called to say sorry..
I respect the fact that he took the intiative and guts to say he's sorry..
Cuz he is not that sort..

Well i Believe In GoD..
Guess She wasn't blind after all..
My Heart does feel lighter though with that sorry...
I won't say i Forgive him.. It's difficult..
But well it helps tp put this bad memory away..

At least He said Sorry Unlike My 1st ex..
Who Hurt me the most...
I wonder..
If he ever felt the pain he caused me..
hmm...

Whatever it is...
With all this unexpected stuff going on..
I'm Still Happy...
N well i should say this often cuz ma sis Doesn't see this olways...

LIFE RAWKS!!! And it still IS!!!

N Now im off to meet my abang go mum mum...
Can't wait to see my HElmet!!!

going runnin

well the whole day i did nothing but sleep...
basically i just got up...
well asmah kold and well we r going fer a run now...
i hope it doesnt rain..
gtg get change...
wel running here i come....

Shalini i still try n exercise k....
so dun u dare luf at me wen mi go running!!hahhaha
b back after run!

weight!!!

weight weight go away ..

come again another ... no no dun come again

haiyo im getting fatter n fatter.....

well 3 nites over and on off...

nite was ok...

sadly would hv been more fun if i had mi members to werk wif,,

stay at home do nothing but watch videos..

im in love wif the jabbawockeez

the way the dance n move....

i miss dancing so much

wanna go n dance again

hmmm lets see if i got the time...

mi helmet is ol ready n done..

its at abng's place ..

can't wait to see it

he say he pasted ol the stickers anihow which i doubt he will...

but he did say mine look nicer than his hahahaha

well i was supposed to go running but well its raining..

see even God doesnt want me to exercise..

bad fer health hahaha

Well i miss mi pannikutty..

can's wait to see him... n i got to go get his gift..

i hvn't buy mi besties bday present oso...

mi sis just pointed out...

its been a while since i said Life Rawks...

haha

well it does.. n still does...

cuz i Have ol mi Loved ones..

Same track of life...

Yeay...........

I dunnoe yeay for what...

basically i feel better...

With things over and done with....

im free as usual again...

but well roster sux, so working again but at least not that bad now as mc has dropped..

work wise going ok ok... living with it...

looking for some place new to venture...

too long .. i think any longer there will be moulds on me haha

Was shoooo happy to see MY LOVE on sunday n hang out together..

Its getting more more difficult to see him... got too many assignments and projects n more tests to top it all..

Guess what!!! i bought mi own helmet and i can't wait to design it...!

After many many years i finally ate the mee hoon goreng i love at haig road..

now i found the place there's going to be more frequent visits haahaha

His bday is coming.... yet to get him his pressie..

Already thought of what to buy... but need to go hunting...

well his birthday is Fasting month so pretty much loads of things need to be thought properly before deciding....

I think i will keep it a simple day... Maybe get friends when we break fast....see how...

Speaking of aLL THIS FASTIN... well hope i survive...

Can't wait for the end of the month.... we going clubbing!!!!!

What have i been doing when i'm free...

pretty much lazing around..

playing my brother's PSP...

I never knew how much time i actually spent wasting on PSP..

So maybe i might get a PSP too in awhile... too waste the too much extra time i have ahaha

I miss dancing n so im thinking of going for dancing classes in CC... With mi sister..

My brother seems a little better... though grumpiness is still alot in him...

Sometimes some things are difficult to forget...

goes the same for me...

witha powerful memory for peoplle and things they say and do...

its hard to forget and forgive at times..

Well I love my family...

The others in family don't realise what they got... Pushing the older around as if they are Humans without any feelings..

If i had a bigger house i would call him to come stay with us..

Haiz... all the things they do and say.. So Hurting..

If i could speak out .. everyone will get it from me..

Why Blame others When You Don't know How to Bring up YOUR KID!!!

They don't know how to do a proper upbringing and they are so clever in putting blame on others when the mistake lies with them...

its ok everybody grow old...

What goes around comes around..

You think your kid will even bother about you in old age??

All these things... unnecesary headache and hurt... Gives my poor mum a headache.

As for me.. I'm sitting out and watching the show...

oh well my brother's home..

going to go play psp again haha

Then to Bring my mum go do her hair...

I love my family.

I love Asmah and Isma.

I love Abang.

I love My Life Cuz I Have All of you loved ones...

LIFE RAWKS!!!

Stranger...

I feel Like a Stranger...
Like a new Kid in the school...
Alone again
I don't know them anymore...


i Put in Effort..
Not seen Nor appreCiated
Everyone thinking of their selfish gains...
Forgetting of others around...


I feel Used...
Used when they needed me... Pushed when their Done
Even the Joker Could Never Play a Better Joke If he was Around...


Tired... Of Doing everything...
For what? For Who??
For all the people Who Dont Give a shit..
Im through..


Smile N laughters In front Of My Face...
Gossips N remarks The Minute I turn Away..
2 Faced!

Who Are You??
I dont recognise you anymore
Are U the person Who Kold urself Mi friend..
Trust me.. Not Anymore!


Someone i tot had mi back
there with me when i m sad

but no its not...
its not like that....

Things done n said
which just hurt...
right behind my back

Tears i shed...
Pain i felt....

This day i m sad to say i just regret...
u made me feel soo upset...

Hopefully one day i will b healed
The pain i shall no longer feel
the Peace in mind i really miss....
Return to Me quickly please....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

End of the Day i feel im better of this way......
LEave me alone...
I will Definitely remember this....
Cuz itz a lesson learned...
A mistake i should never repeat again

Right Now i want just this...
to be alone...

And i thank God at the end of the Day that MI LOVE is still there for me...
Cuz he picked me up when i fell yet again....

I Love You Abng..

i wish i read minds

I wish i can read minds...

funny ... ppl hu use to kol everyday n chat n luf suddenly very cold..

im not sure y... maybe i think i know or maybe thats not it...
but i will not ask...
pointless..
if there is something they wish to clear they will...
if they prefer that way then so be it...
its just uneasy to pretend thats ol...
i dun pretend n i cant....
to me i say wat i think n if u think there's something ur not happy u come n say it to me or clarify it....
ppl ask y im moody
guess i m just tired of werk....
sick n tired of the place
n the last thing i need is ppl acting like im stranger...
maybe i shld behave that way...
that im stranger...
or maybe i am.....
maybe im just a backup...
i dunnoe.....

its very weird....
makes u feel like crap...
funny.... dunnoe to lu or b angry ... pretty much bothering me...
aniway im leaving thins as it is...
cuz im very tired...
i hv enuf things on mi plate to handle...

i wish this doesn't bother me like it is now....
but u know wat... let it be... a matter of time... im no longer arnd..
everything will be ok...

wakakka

because ppl nag at me to update here's mi update...
long long time never update...

basically i hv been too busy...
n mi frens noe wat im busy wif...

im damn bored n hv nothing to do..
tmrw on nite n damn i cant fall asleep

there thats mi update..
Headache...
wich i stop thinking...

Cj7

Yeah!!! Abang bought me CJ7... the doll hekekeke...
and im so the happy...
im sick n still sick....
dun care not well take mc...
thurs fri mc stay home...
sat out
sun home again...
haiz boring la....
i hate being sick....
have to stay home...
Abang at work.. i so wan to follow...
pwease....
haiz i wanna go eat...
next round wen im free i shall update pics...
and im writing a journal n still successful wif it....

Heaven is JaffaR...

~jeffita~

Misses...

I'm so bored...


What i'm doin online??





uploading pics..





man so may ppl married n getting married..


wow...





Talks of marriage...


thank God i still got long way..


Wedding....


Loads of stuff to do...





Haiz... Well exams is around the corner for my beloved....


n so he shall study2...


man i miss him so much...


2wks not seeing him...


already a few days never see i feel so sad...


well like i always say...


I'm a survivor..





Tmrw ...


I'm going back to surgical!!!


Yeay..


Home alas...





Miss werking wif ol of them...


Goodbye renal!!!





Ortho party is coming up on 26th Jan..


N well reka, joan, juz, nad and me are gonna dance...


haha


for whine up....


can't wait...


so excited...


Can't wait to start practice wif em'





I need to start exercising..


I need to continue swimming...


Ineed to control my food..


I need to learn to be a better person...

I wonder alot..
Guess i think too much...

I keep reflecting at whatever happens...
to teach me to b a better person...
I know i try...
Maybe it's not enough...
Learn from mistakes...
I'm still learning..
Sometimes i feel thAt i'm a person with so much faults...
sometimes i don't understand why i behave the way i do..
And when i start thinking thats when too many nonsense thoughts come into my mind...
I wish i could use a eraser...
to erase ol mi past...

One day i will definately be a Better person..
till then Each day i will learn...

Wats new?? many things...

Elo......

Well well... Look who's back..

On a very long leave..

So damn happy...

Need not see the stupid ward...

Will Be goin back to work on 8th jan... so till then .... EnjOy!!!

This is me.. In my new specy..

So long since i even wore glasses out of my house...

Now i shall daringly...

Once in awhile...

I Look older with glasses... Wouldn't really like that would I... Hahaz...

Well Abang Likes it... hehe

Wondering who's this beautiful girl hehe

tak malu kan...

hehe... It's me... All dressed to go meet indhu then abang and Hakim( Abng Best Friend)

to go for their friends wedding...

Gosh!!! Look at all the pimples...

haiz..

Someone save me...

Me and indhu.... All dressed... haha

Well the only sad thing...

On this very day Hakim ( My abng's gay partner (grrr...) )

proclaimed me a lusu...

I'm Not mad... I'm just a little crazy....

hahahaha

then the big preparation for mi chalet...

All went ok..

But alot of peeps last minute didn't turn up which was damn irritating cuz i ordered food n well got wasted...

Upset that some close friends didn't turn up and well 1 can even give me a stupid reason...

oh well forget it...

Don't wanna say much... Let them Be..

Glad the rest turned up though...

Well these are some of the many

pics taken in the chalet...

Above are my nyp mates... Man i'm glad they all turned up.. Miss them loads!!!

Too Free... So i hv changed mi cupboard such that i

can see my abng everyday in the morning...

Me and abng...

Our wonderful 3 days in the chalet...

he was so so hardworking... He did all the bbq'ing

Poor baby....

He was so damn tired and yet he cleaned and packed....

i greatly appreciate what he's doing for me....

and he gave me my b'day present and i was soo touched that i cried...

He actually drew mi pic on the comp n frame it for me

it was shooo shweet....

hardwork....

and a mp3...

i cant go aniwer without my hp n music...

my mp3 was spoilt....

and he got me a new one when he needed one himself...

which i was planning to get him for a long time...

so i did get him a MP4 and gave it to him on the eve of X'mas...

i'm glad he liked it....

heee...

he came over my place for xmas...

all shy n quiet hahaha

i cant wait to see my xmas pressie... hehehee

well all my bday pressies my frens gave me are under the x'mas tree...

shall open them when we take the tree down.....

I had been having a good time this leave...

hoping for BETTER year ahead...

I hope everything goes well...

And this happiness stays....

I have been smiling alot and i wAnna keep doing that.....

Cuz it's high time i got this back...

My smiles and happiness...

I Love You Abng!!!!

~JeFFiTa~

Sick...

I miss mi boyfriend...
mi poor baby is sick...

he is sick...
i so woried him...
hope he get well soon...

ppl in mi life..

~The PpL In mY lifE~

Its High time I leT the world see who are all the people i talk about...
So here's the introduction to the people in my Life!




This Lady in Pink...
Is my mummy...
A very important women in my life and my up bringing..
Though she nags at me and scolds me, she is one women i love alot...
Queen of Tekka!!
I have no idea what she see's in that place...
haha...





This mad girl who everyone says looks like me is none other than my sister...
Who knows most of whatever happens in my life...
who have seen me shed my tears and seen the worst of me
and been there supportively
But seriously she is worse than a step mother...
She nags worse than my mum..
Someone who is so lovable and a major irritant at times...
Especially when i'm talking to mi bf.
Oh well the 2nd woman in my life who keeps me laughing otherwise we will be arguing over stupid things..
and when we do that the whole house will turn upside down..
The clown in the house..
A Artiste at work...





This cute girl is Asmah..
A very very close friend..
My twin Sister..
No we don't look alike but we always seem to end up in the same problems.. hahaha
and this girl will not turn in any friends meeting or gathering or function unless i turn up..
" you go then i go"
her standard line..
She knows everything and i mean everything ...
My innermost secrets which others don't know..
My trustworthy secret keeper...
Been there During My happy moments and smiled with me...
Sat by me and let me bawl my eyes out when i'm hurt and need to cry..
Always sharing our thoughts and lepak at kopi kachang (Coffee Bean)
remincsing our schooling days..
hmmm... Come to think of it we are together for almost 5 yrs..
We always look each other when we have something important to update or when we have oads to get off out chest..
1 gal who is very dear to me and who always get nagged by me to behave herself..
haha...
I love her so much!!!
Wonder what i will do without her...






This Sweets is my Best Friend!!!
Nur Ismawaty Kadariya...
I have known her since secondary school days..
Same Class..
Known her for almost 9 years...
1 person i trust so much..
Some things i don't tell her , not because i want to hide them from her..
but she is such a soft hearted person who will cry when she hears how much i have been hurt...
The day i saw her cry, I just didn't want to see it again..
Has been with me thick and thin..
Always had mi back and i got hers..
Always given her my shoulders to cry on and mi ears to nag at .. hahaha
Someone who cares so much for me..
Without her... Hmm... It will be different...
I like the fact that she is not like girls nowadays...
A very very decent girl and anyone who hurts her will get it from me..
The best part she stays only a few stops from my house... how convenient hehehe..






This 2 chicks...
Joan and Juzilah..
My ward collegues who i hang out with..
love working with them...
but i miss those days...
Haiz now at renal... Not surgical..
Hope i get to go back and work with them again..

Juzilah (Far right) :
A very bubbly girl..
Love to hear her laugh and talk..
haiyo mix with her until sometimes we all talk like her..
which is so sexy..
But no one can beat Princess Juzilah!!
She is so sexy... Lucky i'm not a guy..
Can't wait for her to Find her Mr. Right...
A Fun person i'm glad i have met..



Reka!!!!
And that's her name...
Mi collegue at surgical...
She is one indian girl so far i get along well with..
maybe for the fact that we both don't really like indians..
haha
my 40 percent Lesbian Partner..
hahahaha...
One girl i'm comfortable talking with in my kiddy voice which not many frens see...
Our ward 64 model..
hehe
has a very nice handwriting, i always admire..
Love to work night shift with her.. we eat loads and talk crap and basically enjoy the shift..
A very sweet person who cares for her friends and a crazy girl to hang out with..
haha..

Joan Christina Hendricks

A collegue who i love working with..

A Friend who i can tell things to when i need a listening ear...

A very understanding person...

But the only problem is when you talk to her she will look all around you but your face..

but thats her la... She is listening but she has the habit of looking all over..

everytime we go home together sure got someone she will disturb one..

haiyo... Fighter cock la this girl..

I see all this i want to laugh..

A very beautiful person whom i admire the courage she have..

cheeky monkey i hang out with..

walking around the reservoir in the name of our so called jogging haha..

I love her hair..

and i love her for being such a good friend at work and off work..

This Lusu is Indhu!!
My non blood related older sister..
My abang's best friend
She is pretty and sexy and a social butterfly..
very easy going, Blends in well with the crowd and even strangers..
Something i can never do... cause i'm too shy..
Known her since poly days..
almost 4 years... around there..
A good person to bring for shopping and shows and club haha
i like her mum's vadai..
simply delicious hee
we do all the weird things and discuss things without the least embarassment..
been there with me on times i needed her help which i do appreciate...
always buying me or choosing earrings for me..
always asking me to try this and that when it comes to dressing..
So if i go shopping with her , i always end up buying what i don't usually buy nor wear and u know what.. it actually looks good on me...
So the Queen Of Shopping..
Can't wait for her to get married..
Feb 10.. wait 10 ryte hehe....
well abang and me will be busy helping her with the wedding..
So exciting.. hehe..

This handsome is none other than mi Prince Charming..

Jaafar..

No need for intro..

I have already done that in my earlier post..

The one guy my family importantly my mum and sister approved of..

The only guy they approved of actually...

The one guy who sends butterflys to my tummy

The one guy who i miss everyday

Who makes me smile

Who teaches me to be a better person..

Who is one guy i listen to.. ( The only one i listen to)

Who shows me love unconditionally..

Who respects women..

And I respect him...

Who nags worse than mi mum and my sister...

But you know what... Its ok.. haha.. He is very cute when he nags..

ahahha

Who will dig the truth out of me even if i don't want to say it out..

It's true.. You need to say out what is in your heart instead of keeping it locked

within.. but I have been doing it for a long time..

Still trying to open up more than keep it to myself..

24/7 always on my mind...

i am proud to say i am a better person...

Happier...

thanks to him..

I love you so much AbanG!!

Heaven is far far away...

But you make me feel as if i'm in heaven....

There's 2 more important man in my life..

Mi clumsy brother and mi Loh So Father..

Had been there when i need em'

haiz...

I miss those days when we all used to hang out together..

Hopefully we do it more often..

Cause I do want to spend more time with all my loved ones..

Catch up on all the things i'm missing out on..

Catch up on life and happiness i have lost..

These are all the people who make me feel so happy wherever iam..
Being there with me wen i meed them the most..
Precious people i never want to lose..
And i thank GOD for Giving me people Who care and stick by me..
Love all of you!!!!!
Muacks!!!

Changes..

yesterday was mi first nite at renal...

But before goin work i met mi baby!!!!

Haiz i miss him so much!!!!

I was shoo happy wen he asked to mit up..

we went to watch 30 Days of night

stupid sia scary..

then we go mum at Long John .. Ol time fav..

n guess wat...

time to go work.. Damn!!

Act Stab oni

I seriously Have no heart to leave...

Didn't want to...

Dunnoe wen i can see him next..

Poor pannikutty busy wif school and assignment

Wish i could help him..

Haiz i really really miss mi abang ah...

Waah.. Hmmm i Like!

So for mi 1st nyte...

Well it was ok ok...

Except i so fed up wif the MO, he kena scold from me..

Doctors ah.. Sometimes they do all the weirdest things..

Had 1 patient sent for urgent Dialysis n he is on oxygen..

halfway through sending the oxygen finish sia..

Damn!! Waah... i run like mad women pushing the heavy bed to the dialysis centre..

Then at female side got 1 patient collapse.

So sudden so ol of us kancheong sia..

oh well i started the cpr.. n not long later the doctor say no need resuscitate the patient..

I Love ur EyeS!

So sian.. 1st nyte oready like that..

hope mi 2 more nytes in peace...

I slept at 10 plus n woke up proper at 4..

keep having interrupted slp..

guess too tired..

ma legs are killing me...

today the ppl i working wif more f**ked up sia..

haiz...

i hope i survive..

Mi Prince Charming

~Prince JaaFaR~

See this monkey...

Luffing at me..

Ya la put cheese on mi face ryte..

Luff summore la..

I love to see him smile...

I love to see him dance!!

I love to Hear his voice..

I love to hear him nag.. So mcm nenek! hehe

I love to Smell him... Sho nice smell..

I love to just sit n look at the face..

I love everything about him!!

I LoVe HiM!!!

A Lot of times i wonder what life will be like without him

Sometimes i cry at just a thought Of "If" i was to Lose Him

I Don't want to..

How much this man have changed me...

Only Closest can see

Cause' the Pain in Me is Now set free..

I Love You so Much!!

And words Can Never Explain How much You mean to Me..

Life is Just sO different With You Beside Me..

mad hse

Today ward was a mad house!!!
Busylike crazy....
im so tired...
by the time i handover mi headache was killing me...
damn...
so damn tiring... haiz...
tmrw im gonna be on nyte...
worried...
juz hope i survive... i'm a survivor...

I hope my nytes go well..
ol im looking forward to is mi leave and mi chalet...
can't wait...

N i miss mi abang...
yesterday he came to fetch me... n i tot he was playing wen he said cool..
n there he was ryte outside mi staff room waiting fer mi..
shooo sweet...
hehehe
man was i happy to see mi chellakutty..
rombe rombe happy teriyuma!!!!'
hehe..
he follow me go faceshop the we go watch hitman...
then we go mum mum...
n i got no heart to go home...
i was tired.
i'm not feeling well..
i working morning the next day...
but as long as i see him n be wif him i feel so happy.. n ol the sickness fly away hehe

Abang the secret of my happiness...
i'm awaiting the day..
the day i can wake up to see his face n sleep looking at his face...
though i saw him yesterday i just miss him so much...
haiz how i wished he stayed next door...

haiz its ok... like he olways says... have to be patient....
Be patient... and 1 fine day u will recieve...
ala..... long way to go...

i think ah i wan to enlarge his picture n put near mi bed..
hmmm.. this sounds good...

ehehehe...
ya.... mad...
crazy in love...

Never thought love could be so sweet...

sick....

Its funny....

The worls is definately a scary place...

If u sit n think.. watch the news...
u will realise...
it's a scary place...
Things happen....


I am still shocked over something...
Cried for a whole day...
It has been a long time since i cried like that...
Cuz mostly smiles were spread on mi face because of love i have...

all i can say is i will b more alert..
wat happen makes me more aware n yes scared... still.. esp crowded place..
when i see too many ppl i get worried..
but when i cried everyone close beside me whol love n care for me feel very sad...
mi family stood supportive right by me..
mi brother n sister tryying to make me laugh...

My boyfren, he feels so helpless...
seriously.. there's nothing much he can do but just b there with me..
cuz he was not there with me durng the incident...
if he was i dun think anything ould have happened...

But he was there talking to me till i stopped crying..
cared for me..
worried for me..
n i feel sad that because of me he got so worried n upset...
ol i can say is i tell myself to stop thinking bout it n b happy n talk as per normal cuz i cant see mi boyfren feeling sad. and i know he was...
today i was much better than yesterday...
i talk as per normal...
each time i get reminded i think of mi bf n loved ones...

I promised to be a strong girl n take care of miself...
and so i shall..
not for me but for him...
cuz i love him.... so much...

Its ok... God is watching watever happens n 1 fine day he will definitely punish ppl like them...
All i want is to b happy n see my bf happy...
the reason for my smiles must not b sad
Cuz if he is sad or cries, so will I...

I wonder what i will do without him or my fren asmah hu was there n let mi sit n cry mi heart out..
I love You asmah... Mi twin...
I love mi abang.. Jaafar..
I Love mi mum, brother, sister n mi dad....
I Love Joan.....
At the end of the day these ppl who are part of my life show me love ... to keep moving on ahead...

So Much LOVE....
in this love i swim in... the tears will not last long..
they are juz momentary...

Work....

today sho sho busy...
n mi throat is killing mi n mi coughs are coming weneva mi patients are nearby
n well renal patients are very particular bout their condition ... they dun like sick ppl get near them...
bz bz... i kept running up n down to fetch n send patient...
charts... i had to make sure their updated properly or the nite staff will come n spit sarcasm at me... like they are so perfect...
grrrr
too bad mi charts were done nicely.....
the nite junior got the cheek to ask... if i updated the charts... i juz told her 2 go n cek cuz im done updating...
throat hurts...
mi abng kept nagging at mi to drink water... seriously no time..
i oni drank water wen he told mi to hehe
n wen i finally went fer break cuz mi gastric was killing mi...
n so well i finished on time..

n i miss mi abang!!!
tmrw morning shift.. haiz lazy wake up...
tmrw im gonna mit mi darling nyp gals...
can't wait...

good nyte!!!