n the list goes on...

List haha...
mi frens will noe wat i mean...
so damn happy..
just completed 3 nytes..
was like hell!!!

1st nyte damn busy
aftr that i went out n got home at almost 3
slept fer 3 hrs n had to go work again
darn sleepy..
2nd nyte was ok but sleepy...
then i got home n din slp..
mi fren veronica came over n ate at mi hme n we were toking loads of stuff...
man i miss those times wen we were alone n were tooking loads os stuff..
i olways loved her but well we fought over nonsense stuff..
thats frens
n so i din slp at ol n went to werk...
man i was a zombie..
everthing was slow motion sia..
at a point of time i was walking sideways n cant open mi eyes... haha
mi collegue helped mi to walk straight..
haha
the i knocked out...
in the bus n was walking like a drunk woman back home..
i barely can open ma eyes...
then i knocked out n slept
rechargin mi batt hahaha
so well nvr do nite shifts without slp..

mi frn said im much more happier at werk than before..
glad that i am n ppl noticed..
i hv to learn that among ol the sorrows i must smile instead of sit n cry..
some ppl think im not bothered of their feelings n then im living in own world n that im becoming worse n stuff..
mayb at times ya...
but i spend times wif mi frens n do ol this to forget n de stress....
alot of things in mind i dun say out
but better left unsaid..
ppl will not understand...
sometimes i miself dunnoe y everything is happening that way n y im doin wat im doin...
ppl think im sittin n enjoying miself wen i was juz busy crying mi eyes out...
ol i can say dun judge wen u dunnoe...
cuz the ppl hu know me n see mi everyday will know the difference....

im a survivor..
i will b happy..
as much as i hate ward ryte now i will love mi work
i will try
n i will not cry...

smile....
u nvr know hu's day u hv made wif that 1 smile...

~rebbie~

yet another chpt to b closed...

So many things happening...
things i nvr expect..
shocking n scary...
can't believe wats happening...
not sure wat to do
wat path to take..
juz moving on day to day...

i wonder alot of things...
y things r the way they are
decisions i make
ryte or wrong...
ppl i mit...
good or bad...

its ol haywire..
y m i kidding miself..

i tink its time fer chocies..
to help mi relax n decide mi next move in the game called Life.
~rebbie~

SivAGAME

The play was wonderful!!!
Superb...
history relived....
the dance n play was excellent....
but the price of mi goin hungry hahha
now waiting fer mi cup noodle to b ready...
Healthy diet huh...
hhaha
Glad to see niron after so long... mi counsellor n motivator
hu is forever busy...
he n his slang... haha
had a gd day...
but a shit day at werk...
damn busy...
had to pass things feel bad...
man im tired...
thank god 2 days off...
i shall enjoy ma weekends
n no one shall spoil it
Smile....

~rebbie~

y can't ppl b nice??

its so damn sickening
EOT staff r irritating!!!
they r so damn rude!!!
i tok so nicely n they go yelling away...
sometimes b nice oso no point
cuz get shit back
haiyo b nurse macam living hell at times
but well mi patients were nice n sweet
mostly...
so well thats important ryte
patients...

was yacking away wif sarah n veronica...
bout life n men being a bum
hmm....
well lets see if wat sarah say will come true...
If Ees will kol mi a week later....
here again u b ol nice n tok properly n listen to ppl
they do nonsense...

well patience is virtue
i shall stay being nice n smiley n happy
hopefully it doesn't die down..
haha
tmrw im morning shift ol alone...
hope i survive!
im gonna watch a play tmrw wif ma counsellor hu's mi pri schl fren hehe
mi pillar of strength wen i was heading to depression...
shall updat bout the play...
it better b good
cuz i hv to sit n freeze mi ass fer 3 hrs...

nytes
light out
~rebbie~

im back!!!!

argh!!!! i can blog again!!!
THKS TO MI DEAREST SISTER... I LOVE YOU LOADS!!
finally!!
wahha
well well...
wats new
im single
so many things happened...
got depressed n now picking miself up again...

u noe....
life is something wonderful
a gift to us
but sometimes well alot of times we take it as a pain n live in the pain
remembering ol the hurts we went thru n not olways remembering the smiles we had
fer gals hu r heartbroken....
dun let a man bring u down..
u know y
cuz we dun deserve this..
everyday is a new day n we must b happy WIF wat we hv..
cuz wen we lose them one day
it's too late... no point regretting then

kumar is goin aussie...
soon... I'll Miss You
a man hu was there wif mi n tolerated ol mi nonsense...
but sadly i cant gv much...
guess i dun reali noe wat i wan animore...
doin things just in a rush
but ryte now
thinkin thru things alot..
well im not saying i regret mi decisions...
well 1 decision ... yes...
Nvr trust any1 easily...
cuz there r many vultures waiting fer meat...
n 1 day...
these ppl hu hurt mi..
will feel the pain i was caused...
cause the pain inflicted.. still brings tears to mi eyes...
but everyday i tell miself..
Smile cause the ppl hu hurt dun gv a shit n no point holdin on to the pain...
put em at the back of ur heart n smile n olways b happy...
If not for urself... fer the ppl Hu LOVE You

Fer the ppl i love...
its fer them...
they will b hurt seeing mi in mi depressed state...
n i hate they way i was wen i was down...
as much as mi life is fucked up...
i will fight this fer happiness...
N daily u will see a smile on mi face...

~rebecca~

bad timing

Some ppl say will kol mi at 10.40 but call mi at 11.08...
nvm...
they forgot how to see the time...

Im in Neuro icu attachment ryte now..
Boring n hv loads of ceklist to do...
grrr...
God Knows how im gonna finish them...

frens busy...
mi fren asmah - someone v close n dear to mi.. werking at cgh n will be coming over to sgh fer a dm talk
we were supposed to mit n in the end i hv no choice but to go fer dance practice cuz im performing on the 4th n there won't b any practice besides wednesday..
N so mi dear fren is angry but i realli no energy layang her la..
So she sarcastic i sarcastic bck la..

i got too many other things on mi mind..
haiz...

Xmas!!!

Once again the season of giving is here..
Xmas!!! a festival i love to celebrate...
Presents hhaha... Not because of that... but yea... the tree the weather frens n family visiting..
eating , yacking..
a joyful season i love to celebrate...

Oh well im on leave n hv been very busy since then...
running many places....
Did alot of shopping...
n I mean alot...
n i hvn finished...
Still got 4 more...
haiz...
Monday:
baked cookies ... not much la...
evryone eat rice after that too full to eat cookies..
Tuesday:
Did Murukku..
I went fer a dinner wif mi dance mates...
after tat spent a gr8 time dancing somewer...
Vodka... haha n drunk...
Still steady ah..
Wednesday:
Went to do xmas shopping...
this yr make things easier...
i just wrap the presents n let ppl pick la...
make mi life easier...
too many ppl coming so juz buy la...
Sorry Boys no presents...
Except for some ppl...
U will know hu u r wen u recieve...
Thursday:
Met grace n asmah...
We were supposed to do xmas shopping ..
but most o fthe time wasted as usual...
toking, crapping...
not fruitfu shopping...
Friday:
I went to mit indhu n we went to watch Kugan's drama....
it was reali nice...
a club scene...
He was acting as a pimp.. Haha..
Had a really gr8 time...
Saturday:
Mi Bday!!!
hehe... but did nothing special..
The !st person to wish me was indhu hehe... She sang mi bday song in slow motion...
funny...
After that was Hubby...
The most touching was from Ahmad!! His sms very touching... Really.... So well i saved it n i Got him a Xmas gift haha.. At first i tot dun buy... Oh well...
Wat to do... Iwas so touched...
Even mi bf oso never wish mi like that...
Aniway i went to tekka wif ma mum n help buy groceries..
Then got home changed n went tmp wif mi brudder to finish shopping
Fruiful Shoppin...
Bought the stuffs i need in a short time...
N so did mi money fly in a short time... haha Oh well Season of giving...
Then after that i went to mi Cousins Hse n pick mi niece up to mi hse...
Man i MIss mi 2 nieces n nephew...
They hv become rounder... Except mi nephew... still skinny n notti..
Aniway fetched mi niece to ma hse n she n mi bro put up the tree while i wrap the presents...
The tree looks beautiful...
Mayb cuz a kid was part of it ...
Went to bed at 2..
Today:
Woke up early... suppose to go temple but din..
Nid to go mi aunt hse pass some stuffs... then go to hubby hse...
then i dunnoe wat we're doing..
He kip saying he did something n its so romantic n i may cry...Dunnoe wat he's up to..
Ask him anithing he say watch porn if not sell drugs... haiz...
I dunnoe wat to wear la... So irritating...
K gtg ... shall update u guys if cried over his romantic stuff...
hehe

Merry Xmas!!!
N
Happy New Year!!

**cheeRs**
~nita~

MIA

Long time no update...
Very the busy wif werk la... not time to update..
oh well works the same..
Bonus is in!!!
wahhahaha..
Happy only..

Ahmad treated mi n hubby the other day...
MMM... yummy..
we go makan at pasir panjang n it was raining..

after that mad n nad went vivo city to go buy willy wonker chocolate ...
seems it was yummy then they buy fer both of us...
ahmad dun eat mi choccie!!
Wating to eat...

After that we went to city hall makansutra n eat loads of stuff... i couldn't finish...
haha
as usual...
after that we went walkathoning..
n i was sweating like shit..
good workout though hahaha

oh n by the way..
im on leave!!!
Wahaha but i hv to stay home to bake cookies , clean up the hse buy xmas present... shop fer mi brother, father n sista... n miself...
haiz alot of shoppin to do la...
Waiting to go shopping la...
aniways gotta go shop ryte now... n i hv baked 2 cookies today..
to be continued tmrw...

Chao

i wanna club...

Clubbing..
i miss...
the last time i went was the first time very relak...
juz drink vodka n sit down n watch ppl sing.. dance fer a short while n even then macam cant dance...
2 gals should not club alone la...

aniways.....
i met mi darling girls..
mi n jas met up first
we were walking arnd n window shopping n then follow up by gracie n we went to swensens n ate ice cream... this chocolate crumble... nice sia...
its in a saucepan.. wif hot caramel... crumble pie sweet n nice wif cold ice cream..
shiok sia..
yummy....
then patricia came along...
we eat n yack n yack...
on that day mi n hubby had a very big fight...
he was not in a good mood...
he wanted to mit mi n so in the end i juz got fed up n left mi frens to mit him...
that oso show ma face n take train...
i oso very pissed off...
i met ma frens almost a year later... cuz jas actually notes ol this down...
n we finalised that we definitely hv to try n mit at least every 6 months...

work was aa usual...
smooth going...
woke up late to werk that day hahaha...
take cab...
macam very rich..

That day ahmad,nad, lina farwan azlindah kumar n mi go makan..
ahmad belanja!!! finally seh..
if know he treat i would hv taken something more expensive
haha
we go makan at beach road..
fun sia...
toking cok n laughing..
time really flys...
gonna b one yr since i know hubby n his doverites gang...
u know... though i condemn dover so much cuz theres no shop n stuff i do miss goin to that place if i hvn been there fer a long time.. esp wen i nvr see the rest... so long nvr sit wif ol the dover members...
haiz...
ryte now hubby busy doing something fer mi bday...
so he tell mi not to disturb him haiz...

next week sat planning to go bumble bee...
ol those on favour say I...
aniway will go onli if good response if not i won't go la...
the next day werking sia.
k la i gonna go slp la... tired of werking hard
mi legs killing mi..

tmrw still wanna go out..
miss ma frens..
miss mi dance
miss indhu the panthu...
miss angels..
miss dancing like siaow
miss club..
miss ma nice patients..
miss schooling..
miss studying..
miss free time..
miss ma family time..
miss ma best fren..
miss hubby..

Good nyte

home...

today morning i went to mit ma best fwen near her hse to chit chat fer awhile ... then i came bak to bedok n met mam mum follow her go shop shop... bought HER WORLD
dunnoe fer wat.. haha aniway i saw something i like n im gonna buy it..
eyeshadows again hehe... like to collect them hehe

Came back home n im sitting wif cramps.... grrrr man it hurts..
chatting wif hubby on the fon n hey Viky speaks chinese hehe.. nice to noe..
n im being a good gal n staying at home... gonna watch vcd..
robin hood n Little man...

after i watch oready i gv ma review..
fer now im gonna bathe n go shop first to get stuff n come home watch cd...


this pic was taken last year wen we met quite some time after we started werking..
n i miss these gal...
frm left : patricia, Vivian , Jasmine , mi n Grace..
im gonna mit mi darling gals this thurs 5.30pm at bugis...
miss them...
can't wait to see them...

~nita~

restless...

I feel sad...
i dunnoe y i kip getting irritated...
maybe wen plans dun stick the same way n wen ppl kip changing plans... ya i got irritated..
he oso irritated n so m i...
laughin at mi wen i cried...
fer ur info that was not the reason i cried fer..
i was juz irritated.. nvm not ur fault...

im still goin out today...
but dun reali noe wat im gonna do after everyting..
hang arnd somewer...
argh...

mi fren mrng shift tmrw summore..
i feel lost sometimes... like a gal lost her way.. wen ppl dun understand u... n they think they do...
its times like these i wanna b left alone n not b asked fer explanations..

mi plan fer today..
i really dunnoe..
guess i'll try to hv fun...

feel like crap... wan to go slp fer awhile..

oh well hopefully wen i cut ma hair... mi head feels lighter...

chao

COMPETITION

FIRST comes first...
mi group is having competitions...
alot of other groups coming up
mi group coordination sucks...
so proud ah... but its the truth..
haiz... i wish it changes... still wish...
sometime i think it can never make it...
so irritated...
aniway mi n mi frens goin fer a dance competiton...
dancing is mi passion
n its been so long i hv gone fer competition..
its now or never...
i hope the best...
this is fer miself ...

and yesterday i went fer this 5C's course... 8.30 to 5.30
had loads of fun....
laughing n enjoying n learning...
it really made mi reflect back on how i behave n hv treated some of mi patients... though i was irritated wif them...
but i think i could hv been more patient n tactful...

Joan has found a bf!!!
really happy fer her...
i really hope he is the one...
it's so long she had a bf...

Juzilah still waiting fer the rite one..
Abang Sahar.... do u love her...
she is really a cute n sweet gal wif a really good heart...
everytime she giggles she makes an even angry person relax...
she may b big in size..
but she has a bigger heart..
i really wish she finds someone... i dunnoe how to matchmake her la...

n looks like another fren of mine is oso getting on well wif her new found frenship..

while at the other end singles are enjoyin themselves...
i do admit single life is really happening n u r free n happy..
miss those days...
not that i ahte it now..
i am still happy

khin broke up wif her 4 yrs bf because of distance ... she is a myanmar nurse werking in sinagpore... n her family are against this relationship...
fer very long she tried n she tinks this relationship will not workout...
n this is her first love....
so poor thing la she...
n she says she dun want another man in her life either...
cuz she says she will not b able to find a man like him again..
she wants to remain single n die thinkin of him...
its not a movie but real life...
she is nice n deserves tis... but...
haiz.. fate...
doesn't olways turn out the way we want...
thinkin that ur first love will last...
i noe wat it feels like..
cuz mine din...

aneeta... pca in mi ward oso single n happier now...
her's is different...
she loved the guy , he loves her to...
but he is not oni protective but he doesn't think before toking..
he has hurt her feelings time and time again...
n now seperated he wants her back cuz he realize wat he lost...
wats the point...
its too late...
n even if u say u change hu will try again...
wat if it happens again...
wat if tings never change...
can a person really change over a matter of days...
can they...
i really dunnoe...
the same wif mi ex guy..
wats the point of realising wat u lost after telling mi u dun nid mi animmore...
i hung on long things never change...
wen finally i say forget it n try to move on...
nothing...
wen i found someone else... then things happened..
problems after problems...
not only fer mi but oso fer mi bf now hu was then fren...
thru so much trouble we made it this far...
n im happy...
he stayed by mi till the end.. din leave mi alone to cry...
held mi tight n safe...
loved mi wif everything he had...
i went on wif him without loving him but one day i just fell in love... im loving him so much i dun ever want him to leave mi... ever...
it is wif his love that he showed mi that now i love him till today

i went thru alot in mi previous relationships..
so im a person hu has been so hurt..
n so scared of love n commitment
so scared wat if one day...
but i leave it ol to fate...

all i will say is i love him
n im thankful fer everything he evr did n i appreciate him...
fer always being there...

n though i hv hurt u so much..
wich imvery sorry fer...
I STILL LOVE U...

DON'T LEAVE ME K... pls..

we ol deserve to b happy..

N i think we ol deserve to b happy...
dun u think so...
i miss mi hubby many many...
he went kl... n finally he's back...
lucky i was bz wif performance...

friday was a big performance..
Rameshwara, Theestainers, Sangeshstraz
everybody were big time performers...
i felt like a small fry
mi grp has to like upgrade...
waiting fer the time...

mi bf cousin Nagen was the one hu kold us fer a performance...
realli happy cuz this was a freaking big show....
i really felt extra...
aniway...

the next day we performed at bishan..
and guess wat i saw mi fav singer hehe
n mi dance teacher toked to him n i got to tok to him...
dunnoe y so happy
siaow ryte...
but oh well...
he said the dance was good
n i met a few nice ppl...

really enjoyed mi performance...
and guess wat mi hubby is back n im on the fon ryte now fighting wif him...
but even in this min im still happy to hear his voice cuz thats how much i miss him...
though i realli dun wanna fight...
irritating n so i will update u guys next time why i say everybody deserves to b happy
cuz mi blog is not over yet
but i hv to stop now cuz he's complaining...
do i hv a choice
NO

now i gonna go fight wid him more...
haiz...

sleepy head..

3 nite shifts...
haiz n after mi last nyte shift went to indhu's place straight to get dressed fer a morning performance...
go there i was in fer a shock..
dun even ask..
n so after the performance
headed down to dover...
damn hell i cant slp...
was thinking so much of wat happened in the morning
in the end i was wide awake
later in the evening arnd 5 headed down to kallang
had a performance at kolam ayer cc
man i had fun wif the ppl there
maruskaz , singers ram , priya i tink the other gals.. mc thiru n deviyani
haha those ppl were gr8 backstage n supportive...
i owe ram a chocolate... well he screamed fer our performance hehe
marushkaz were damn gr8
they got the moves n energy!!
love their dance...
sometimes i wish i can do wat they do
not that i can't
but u nid a bunch of young ppl hu energetic
man i so wan mi own dance grp...
planning to
nid to cari dancers n trusted ppl
get the moves ryte n we're up fer a roll
ryte now i nid a male choregrapher to help mi wif choreographing
a guy to do remixing
n another to help mi fren indhu wif design
i nis a strong team n i can get the grp going
to open up a grp n make it big!
mi dream...
hope i make it someday

well our performance okie...
but the stupid rani in her own world...
dancing anihow...
irritating...
oh well gotta go slp
till next time
~nita~

mia

n im back..
yet again
due to ppl makin noise bout mi not updating im gonna try to update often... i say try ah...
no promises
oh well on nyte again...
damn sleepy
the best part... tmrw morning after werk gotta go perform n at 2 places
in the morning n evening n as a result
im not gonna get a gd slp...
but the good thing
thank god im onli goin back wer on tue
freaking tired...
the truth yesterday was not tat busy it was quite ok la...
pretty much free frm 2 plus...

body ache frm ol the dancing...
hehe secret...
been out
enjoyed the loud music
heart pumping
non stop dancing...
and as a result... mi leg freaking hell hurts
damn bad...
the sad part ol dressed so nice n v forgot to tk pics
haiz..
n i looked good
shameless hehe hu cares
cant wait to go again
dis time round gotta get the moves ryte cuz some ppl say i was killing reggae songs
but damn i dunnoe how to dance reggae


god noes how im gonna dance tmrw in ol mi sleepy stupor
yet later got to follow mi bf family go makan
n i just remembered im supposed to go mi best fren hse...
i totally forgot..
how ah..
im so tired...
nid to go 2 places
can i dun go aniwer but slp instead?
n im down wif the stupid flu - as usual

aniway...nid to get mi beauty slp...
i still gotta go out n get mi ass to work on time
alleluya....
i nid ol the luck
to survive...

then again...
i am a survivor
olways been

nytes

argghhh

i feel like giving up man..
im doin it again again n i can't atch the damn step n kip forgetting
shit la
how to perform like tat
sheesh
im goin crazy n very angry wif miself...
like i can nvr get it
i reali hope i catch up
oh i will juz gv up
oh i dun think i will
i will juz kip trying n trying till i gettit
wat to do
i nvr give up in dance
mi love n life
dance is one thing i will nvr gv up
hmmm...
6 moths hv passed so fast
haiz...
time reali pasts so fast...
n in trying to kip up
oh well im sleppy..
till next time i update mi blog
~nita~

dance dance

gosh i was juz flipping thru the channel n caught a glimpse of dance fever... the show sucks big time....
i think the ppl nvr watch reaaaaal dance....

anita so damn tired
i slept at 10 plus in the morning
got performance at 7 at parkway
gotta mit mi grp at 4.30 at eunos mrt
im up at 2
survivng in 4 hrs of slp n im so sleepy...
i hope the show dusn kok up sia...
scared
but i pray hard it turns out powerful
aniway gotta go get ready....
n werk after tat
i juz pray today i dun fall aslp at mi counter...
~nita~

nite nite...

man i should reali try n make more frequent entries...
aniway im on nite...
todays mi 2nd nite...
n im sleepy..
thank god i survived the nyte n din fall asleep at the counter...
man so many iv's to give... it like a never ending list sia...
but yea... nite shift more quiet...
but oso more sleepy..
mi n mi constant munching
today nite gonna work wif joan... mi darling en...
we r gonna rock the ward haha ryte...
2 sleepy heads eating n giggling...
aniway tmrw is mi performance... sheesh dunnoe hoe im gonna wake up...go fer dance n still make it fer work...
i pray hard i dun knock off...
hopefully mi bf wakes mi up on time...
man... but i shall still dance well...
then go like dead dog to work...

oh well u gain some n lose some... meaning mi slp fer performance...
n i reali should lose that extra pounds....

n now im gonna go get more slp before i go werk
tata

anita returns...

goin to temple on mondays...
feel peaceful...
much peaceful...

2 of mi staff goin to critical care unit...
new badge gradyates out... thank god they r ppl we noe...
the previous badge of students.... now ol graduated
n its already 1 yr since i started...
mc again... olways sick
dunnoe wats goin on wid mi body...
sick chicken.. fever 39.2

reali sian...
aniway dance is good
though i think ,more new n fast steps will b good i cant reali say much
oh well
its the oni thing kips mi together

will b goin back to work on thurs..
can i pls stop falling sick...
haiz....
but mi mind feels a little more at ease...
hopefully everything is ok olready...
though the fear is still there
everything gonna b olrite i think...

gonna go rest...
miss the old anita but i hv a feeling she's returning soon

~nta~

wats wrong wid mi? i wish i knew..

at a period of time ... i had been having performances after performances...
drained mi out but i had fun n i was kept busy...
then i took a break n met up wid frens...
each time i move on some tngs happen to bring mi down...
loads of shit at workplace
tat drains mi oready... mentally n physically...
frens hu went missing...
but reali... i dun bother... cuz the close ones are olways there wid mi eventually
n mi bf is there... every tear i shed he wipes it away... if not he cries wid mi... i thank god fer givin mi a person hu tolerates all the anger i vent...
a person hu loves mi much more than i love him... im trying mi best to appreciate wat i hv.. n not to turn back n think bout past...
difficult..
after so much of problems... i just needed the break... went out in a happy mood 2 mit mi 2 frens...
guess hu i saw at outram mrt...
mi first bf...
the one i loved so much n waited like a fool
the one hu was sick... the bastard...
he din recognize mi..
until i juz stood there n stared at him fer so long... his half smiling face turned to juz a face trying to think wat to do next....
he din approach mi n say hi either... expecting mi to tok...
the more i saw him the more angry n sad i felt...
i noe better then to stand ther n let him see mi cry...
so i turned away n walk down the escalator n he jus stood there
before i knew it tears wich i hv been holding on fer so long juz started coming...
i jus cried till i told miself to stop...
why should i cry over a jerk... hu onli made mi cry everytime...
every single time...
n then mi day was gone... its hard to hold a smile..
lucky thing another fren was ther... he started making us luff...
even couldn't concentrate on mi dance
went to find mi best fren...
we ended up toking n in the end she was crying fer mi as well...
i made her worry...mi best fren hu olways was there to listen to mi... i oni go to her wen i reali can't tk it cuz i dun wan her or ani one else to worry bout mi...
but i reali appreciate tat isma juz stood by mi...
eventuali...i juz told miself to let go but wen im alone...
thoughts do come back..
fears...
mistakes...
anger..
sadness...
if i can oni turn back time...
i wish i never met the person named solomon in mi life ever...
the name of a king...
but a character of a jerk...