major changes....

Loads of things Happened...

Well updates....

yea they tried to retain.. tot of waiting for dec bonus before a chao..
Sadly Economy Crisis has set in...
Unless i do get a better paying job then i will chao.. otherwise.. stay n apply advnce again...
Sux.. But i will survive..
Cuz im a Survivor!!

WeLL Gramps Diagnosed Wif Stage 4 cA..
So Many things happened...
Pretty much confused but he's picking up...
Till the Last Breath we want to keep him Happy..
Seriously... How r u a family if ur not there as family at all...
Seriously they r not even worth..
iF ANYONE DARES SAY ANITHING .. they will get it..

Due to ol this... Abang has a meet the family session..
1st wif mi grandfather while he was still ok then he met the rest of the family..
Anyway he is considered part of the family..
Parents see him as son in law.. Siblings as brother in law..
Everyone telling me to get married fast..
Hahaha wishful thinking... still got long way to go i guess...
Guess wen u reach that certain age... its just a question u can't escape..

The only thing im busy with... work.. meet abang if not gym..

Yes im heading the gym... Glad that i lost weight then fer 3 wks didnt go properly and now im put on 1kg..
God time to cheong in the gym...

Went fer mi sis play.. Well Prataman was funny n yes Highlight fer he show...
2 rounds of it n i cant get enuf...
she should do a serial someday
darn funny
hahahha
hope she one day makes it big in media as a female comedian!!

Morning tmrw... gng to bed soon...

decisions

Handed in... N they r trying to retain me..
everyone talked and im tired...
ask me to think it over a few days...
haiz....
Stressed..

resign....

Well it's time to tender...
Guess i'll head to work early and hand in...
Actually want to give today but firstly...
I lazy..
2ndly my printer no ink..
haiz its so irritating... Ink finish don't know how to buy...
gng to buy later..

Yesterday went out wif mi brother n sister..
shop shop..
Bought abang pressie...
He's such a kaypo.. eveything must know..
hope it likes it though..

Today gng to meet indhu..
going church then go to buy stuff i need to get today..
Already wrapped his pressie..

this sat i shall gv it to him..
so that he can use it on his bday..
Sat we gng to club...
yea yeah....
yeah yeah....

sun we went for jci retreat.. mcm club..
haha... hung out at starbucks n luff and tok rubbish...
Well though im scared of whats going to happen next..
I'll face it...

Go anita... I'm sure u can do this...
Cuz i'm a survivor..

A change

I suck at comp but well... i managed to change mi template finally...
Finally its not hay wire..

Yeay!!! Now im going to bed..
Gd nite!!

run run run

Running running as fast as i can...
Do u think i"ll make it..
Keep running
Keep holding my hand..
So we don't >> get seperated...

Hahaha...
well well.. went for my 2nd day run with asmah on thurs before my work...
Better than my first time...
I ran fer 1.5km then cant run had to walk n run alteranately...
well i will keep practising..

wanna lose weight..

today i went to meet indhu at bkt batok n chill...
Abang came over n we had dinner n chit chat
then we went indhu's hse for awhile.. chit chat with her mum
then took bus n got home..

i bought lipstick today!!!
pink n a nude colour.. very shimmery..
i olways wear gloss n not lipstick...
well time to learn to wear lipstiack too

i'm so sleepy...

tmrw im going to try n get up n run..
though dunnoe if can...
so sleepy... i rather sleep hehe
well i will try..
hahha

ward sux today..
damn tired..
Fed up wif doctors and patients...

well watever... Life still RoX!!!

After Run...

Yeay!!! Running...
I went for a run...
K not really a run...
hahahha
1km i run non stop..
after that is ol history..
hehehehe..
well i walk n run...
im trying k..
Thanks to my darling asmah who Brought me to run..
I love you k!!

im not a runner ler..
After the run i msg abng n he kol me...
haha the last time i said i was going fer a run, my mum n bf made fun of me..
so this time run fininsh then tell him hhehe..
Still can tell me wan to train me n make me run 12km..
i will pengsan ... 12km...

then he ask me out fer dinner..
Yeay can't wait to see my pannikutty..
Lup u many many sho many..

Oh well...
Yesterday...


I got a call...
A call from someone i didnt expect..
Someone i was very angry and caused me alot of heartache..
well i was damn shocked he called...
I didnt really know what to say or think..
Just answering whatever he asked..
Seriuosly my mind was racing..
i didn't know why i didn't yell in all the anger i had..
But i didn't yell..
To me i just wanted to know what he wanted or why he suddenly called..
And no he was Not any of my EX guy.. Someone Who i knew and hurt me alot..

Him: So you're attached right
Me: yes i am
Him: Hows Your Relationship?
Me: Great. I'm Happy.
Him: Good. Im happy for you
Me: Thanks.
Him: You're Welcome.

Then the conversation went on about what he's doing and what i'm doin..
then he said : I'm Very Sorry for Whatever i Did to You. I know i hurt you and i regret my mistake.. I have been feeling very guilty bout' it..Ya.. I'm sorry..

When i heard this i really don't know what to say..
I didn't say i forgive him cuz i can't..
I didn't say it's okie cuz it was not..
I was very hurt by him..
I just kept quiet..
what do i say??
Better to say Nothing..
Cuz I can't forgive nor Forget...

Then i did ask if he was attached.
And he said he still single..
He did try But can't really find a proper girl..

Then He said When He met a nice person he didn't appreciate it..
he met alot of others who well didn't turn out all nice..
eventually he said what goes around, comes around...
I just smiled to myself..
Ya it was true..
What goes around comes around..
I guess he learnt his lesson over the year i told him not to call me..

yup its been a year since he talked to me..
I pretty much put it behind me and i don't talk much about it to anyone except aneeta..
Well so the first person i told to was her.. She was shocked..
But well in the end we believe he learned his lesson and he actually called to say sorry..
I respect the fact that he took the intiative and guts to say he's sorry..
Cuz he is not that sort..

Well i Believe In GoD..
Guess She wasn't blind after all..
My Heart does feel lighter though with that sorry...
I won't say i Forgive him.. It's difficult..
But well it helps tp put this bad memory away..

At least He said Sorry Unlike My 1st ex..
Who Hurt me the most...
I wonder..
If he ever felt the pain he caused me..
hmm...

Whatever it is...
With all this unexpected stuff going on..
I'm Still Happy...
N well i should say this often cuz ma sis Doesn't see this olways...

LIFE RAWKS!!! And it still IS!!!

N Now im off to meet my abang go mum mum...
Can't wait to see my HElmet!!!

going runnin

well the whole day i did nothing but sleep...
basically i just got up...
well asmah kold and well we r going fer a run now...
i hope it doesnt rain..
gtg get change...
wel running here i come....

Shalini i still try n exercise k....
so dun u dare luf at me wen mi go running!!hahhaha
b back after run!

weight!!!

weight weight go away ..

come again another ... no no dun come again

haiyo im getting fatter n fatter.....

well 3 nites over and on off...

nite was ok...

sadly would hv been more fun if i had mi members to werk wif,,

stay at home do nothing but watch videos..

im in love wif the jabbawockeez

the way the dance n move....

i miss dancing so much

wanna go n dance again

hmmm lets see if i got the time...

mi helmet is ol ready n done..

its at abng's place ..

can't wait to see it

he say he pasted ol the stickers anihow which i doubt he will...

but he did say mine look nicer than his hahahaha

well i was supposed to go running but well its raining..

see even God doesnt want me to exercise..

bad fer health hahaha

Well i miss mi pannikutty..

can's wait to see him... n i got to go get his gift..

i hvn't buy mi besties bday present oso...

mi sis just pointed out...

its been a while since i said Life Rawks...

haha

well it does.. n still does...

cuz i Have ol mi Loved ones..

Same track of life...

Yeay...........

I dunnoe yeay for what...

basically i feel better...

With things over and done with....

im free as usual again...

but well roster sux, so working again but at least not that bad now as mc has dropped..

work wise going ok ok... living with it...

looking for some place new to venture...

too long .. i think any longer there will be moulds on me haha

Was shoooo happy to see MY LOVE on sunday n hang out together..

Its getting more more difficult to see him... got too many assignments and projects n more tests to top it all..

Guess what!!! i bought mi own helmet and i can't wait to design it...!

After many many years i finally ate the mee hoon goreng i love at haig road..

now i found the place there's going to be more frequent visits haahaha

His bday is coming.... yet to get him his pressie..

Already thought of what to buy... but need to go hunting...

well his birthday is Fasting month so pretty much loads of things need to be thought properly before deciding....

I think i will keep it a simple day... Maybe get friends when we break fast....see how...

Speaking of aLL THIS FASTIN... well hope i survive...

Can't wait for the end of the month.... we going clubbing!!!!!

What have i been doing when i'm free...

pretty much lazing around..

playing my brother's PSP...

I never knew how much time i actually spent wasting on PSP..

So maybe i might get a PSP too in awhile... too waste the too much extra time i have ahaha

I miss dancing n so im thinking of going for dancing classes in CC... With mi sister..

My brother seems a little better... though grumpiness is still alot in him...

Sometimes some things are difficult to forget...

goes the same for me...

witha powerful memory for peoplle and things they say and do...

its hard to forget and forgive at times..

Well I love my family...

The others in family don't realise what they got... Pushing the older around as if they are Humans without any feelings..

If i had a bigger house i would call him to come stay with us..

Haiz... all the things they do and say.. So Hurting..

If i could speak out .. everyone will get it from me..

Why Blame others When You Don't know How to Bring up YOUR KID!!!

They don't know how to do a proper upbringing and they are so clever in putting blame on others when the mistake lies with them...

its ok everybody grow old...

What goes around comes around..

You think your kid will even bother about you in old age??

All these things... unnecesary headache and hurt... Gives my poor mum a headache.

As for me.. I'm sitting out and watching the show...

oh well my brother's home..

going to go play psp again haha

Then to Bring my mum go do her hair...

I love my family.

I love Asmah and Isma.

I love Abang.

I love My Life Cuz I Have All of you loved ones...

LIFE RAWKS!!!

Stranger...

I feel Like a Stranger...
Like a new Kid in the school...
Alone again
I don't know them anymore...


i Put in Effort..
Not seen Nor appreCiated
Everyone thinking of their selfish gains...
Forgetting of others around...


I feel Used...
Used when they needed me... Pushed when their Done
Even the Joker Could Never Play a Better Joke If he was Around...


Tired... Of Doing everything...
For what? For Who??
For all the people Who Dont Give a shit..
Im through..


Smile N laughters In front Of My Face...
Gossips N remarks The Minute I turn Away..
2 Faced!

Who Are You??
I dont recognise you anymore
Are U the person Who Kold urself Mi friend..
Trust me.. Not Anymore!


Someone i tot had mi back
there with me when i m sad

but no its not...
its not like that....

Things done n said
which just hurt...
right behind my back

Tears i shed...
Pain i felt....

This day i m sad to say i just regret...
u made me feel soo upset...

Hopefully one day i will b healed
The pain i shall no longer feel
the Peace in mind i really miss....
Return to Me quickly please....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

End of the Day i feel im better of this way......
LEave me alone...
I will Definitely remember this....
Cuz itz a lesson learned...
A mistake i should never repeat again

Right Now i want just this...
to be alone...

And i thank God at the end of the Day that MI LOVE is still there for me...
Cuz he picked me up when i fell yet again....

I Love You Abng..

i wish i read minds

I wish i can read minds...

funny ... ppl hu use to kol everyday n chat n luf suddenly very cold..

im not sure y... maybe i think i know or maybe thats not it...
but i will not ask...
pointless..
if there is something they wish to clear they will...
if they prefer that way then so be it...
its just uneasy to pretend thats ol...
i dun pretend n i cant....
to me i say wat i think n if u think there's something ur not happy u come n say it to me or clarify it....
ppl ask y im moody
guess i m just tired of werk....
sick n tired of the place
n the last thing i need is ppl acting like im stranger...
maybe i shld behave that way...
that im stranger...
or maybe i am.....
maybe im just a backup...
i dunnoe.....

its very weird....
makes u feel like crap...
funny.... dunnoe to lu or b angry ... pretty much bothering me...
aniway im leaving thins as it is...
cuz im very tired...
i hv enuf things on mi plate to handle...

i wish this doesn't bother me like it is now....
but u know wat... let it be... a matter of time... im no longer arnd..
everything will be ok...

wakakka

because ppl nag at me to update here's mi update...
long long time never update...

basically i hv been too busy...
n mi frens noe wat im busy wif...

im damn bored n hv nothing to do..
tmrw on nite n damn i cant fall asleep

there thats mi update..
Headache...
wich i stop thinking...

Cj7

Yeah!!! Abang bought me CJ7... the doll hekekeke...
and im so the happy...
im sick n still sick....
dun care not well take mc...
thurs fri mc stay home...
sat out
sun home again...
haiz boring la....
i hate being sick....
have to stay home...
Abang at work.. i so wan to follow...
pwease....
haiz i wanna go eat...
next round wen im free i shall update pics...
and im writing a journal n still successful wif it....

Heaven is JaffaR...

~jeffita~

Misses...

I'm so bored...


What i'm doin online??





uploading pics..





man so may ppl married n getting married..


wow...





Talks of marriage...


thank God i still got long way..


Wedding....


Loads of stuff to do...





Haiz... Well exams is around the corner for my beloved....


n so he shall study2...


man i miss him so much...


2wks not seeing him...


already a few days never see i feel so sad...


well like i always say...


I'm a survivor..





Tmrw ...


I'm going back to surgical!!!


Yeay..


Home alas...





Miss werking wif ol of them...


Goodbye renal!!!





Ortho party is coming up on 26th Jan..


N well reka, joan, juz, nad and me are gonna dance...


haha


for whine up....


can't wait...


so excited...


Can't wait to start practice wif em'





I need to start exercising..


I need to continue swimming...


Ineed to control my food..


I need to learn to be a better person...

I wonder alot..
Guess i think too much...

I keep reflecting at whatever happens...
to teach me to b a better person...
I know i try...
Maybe it's not enough...
Learn from mistakes...
I'm still learning..
Sometimes i feel thAt i'm a person with so much faults...
sometimes i don't understand why i behave the way i do..
And when i start thinking thats when too many nonsense thoughts come into my mind...
I wish i could use a eraser...
to erase ol mi past...

One day i will definately be a Better person..
till then Each day i will learn...