wats wrong wid mi? i wish i knew..

at a period of time ... i had been having performances after performances...
drained mi out but i had fun n i was kept busy...
then i took a break n met up wid frens...
each time i move on some tngs happen to bring mi down...
loads of shit at workplace
tat drains mi oready... mentally n physically...
frens hu went missing...
but reali... i dun bother... cuz the close ones are olways there wid mi eventually
n mi bf is there... every tear i shed he wipes it away... if not he cries wid mi... i thank god fer givin mi a person hu tolerates all the anger i vent...
a person hu loves mi much more than i love him... im trying mi best to appreciate wat i hv.. n not to turn back n think bout past...
difficult..
after so much of problems... i just needed the break... went out in a happy mood 2 mit mi 2 frens...
guess hu i saw at outram mrt...
mi first bf...
the one i loved so much n waited like a fool
the one hu was sick... the bastard...
he din recognize mi..
until i juz stood there n stared at him fer so long... his half smiling face turned to juz a face trying to think wat to do next....
he din approach mi n say hi either... expecting mi to tok...
the more i saw him the more angry n sad i felt...
i noe better then to stand ther n let him see mi cry...
so i turned away n walk down the escalator n he jus stood there
before i knew it tears wich i hv been holding on fer so long juz started coming...
i jus cried till i told miself to stop...
why should i cry over a jerk... hu onli made mi cry everytime...
every single time...
n then mi day was gone... its hard to hold a smile..
lucky thing another fren was ther... he started making us luff...
even couldn't concentrate on mi dance
went to find mi best fren...
we ended up toking n in the end she was crying fer mi as well...
i made her worry...mi best fren hu olways was there to listen to mi... i oni go to her wen i reali can't tk it cuz i dun wan her or ani one else to worry bout mi...
but i reali appreciate tat isma juz stood by mi...
eventuali...i juz told miself to let go but wen im alone...
thoughts do come back..
fears...
mistakes...
anger..
sadness...
if i can oni turn back time...
i wish i never met the person named solomon in mi life ever...
the name of a king...
but a character of a jerk...